Cebu Expat Services - THE WEDDING RECEPTION

THE WEDDING RECEPTION

An order of events is found at the end of this page

THE VENUE:-

Cebu offers the couple a vast array of venues, each different in terms of cost, style and location.  You can chose to hold your wedding in a hotel, a resort, a restaurant, a function centre or even at home. 

Elsa and I both wanted our wedding to be held at a resort and spent many long hours driving from one to the other, looking at the venues and getting details about the packages they offered.  Then when we got home, we would try  to compare them to find the best value for money.  This was hard because every package was slightly different from the others - some included a wedding cake, some had an overnight stay, some had white doves included, and so on and so on.  The "basic" cost per head from all the places we visited ranged from about 350 pesos to one at 2,000 pesos a head.

We chose a venue which offered the package we wanted at 850 pesos a head and this included 2 nights stay at the resort.  The staff there were very helpful and professional and the day went pretty much without a hitch.  The wedding was held in a garden setting, but we had the choice of a beach or indoor setting if we had wanted.  In the event of rain, the tables would have been moved to the indoor site.

THE SEATING PLAN:-

This was one of the hitches!!!  I was used to the formalities of the typical western wedding and spent a lot of time preparing a seating plan which would allow each guest a chance to enjoy the day with like minded people.  I sat friends with friends, relatives with relatives and worked those people that didn't fit into any category with people that they would be comfortable with and might find interesting.  One additional complication was that some people spoke only English, some only Bisayan and some spoke both.  Then just when we thought we had the perfect plan, someone would cancel and you would invite a new person who you would have to fit into the mix.

At last we had the right plan and, on the day, my groomsmen put name tags in the correct places on each table.  Did anyone sit where they were supposed to?  About 50% did, the rest just made their own arrangements and sat where they wanted to.  Lesson, don't expect a wedding in the Philippines to be as organized as one in the West.

The resort set up the tables for us - each table with a plain white tablecloth and each chair had a white seat cover tied with a bow in our motif clour - tangerine.

The Couple  - traditionally the newly married couple sits in the middle of what I know as the "Top Table", but some venues offer the bride and groom the option of sitting alone in a position of prominence.  One resort had the couple seated at a table on a island facing the guests.  We sat at our own table on a small mound, and it was so calming to be alone with each other after all the hustle and bustle of the earlier part of the day.

The Presidential Table - our "Presidential Table" was just below us and was occupied by the Parents, the Best Man and Maid of Honour, the Primary Sponsors and the Celebrants.

The Wedding Guests - these were seated around circular tables with the more important people - Bridesmaids, groomsmen and Parents - nearest the front.  The resort provided large candelabras as centre pieces which our florist decorated with flowers.

THE FOOD:-

Here again the options are endless. In our package we were allowed to chose from a comprehensive list of dishes in the following categories - 1 soup, 2 salads, 7 main courses, 1 vegetable dish, 2 rice dishes & 3 desserts.

One thing to be careful of - we had invited and paid for 100 guests and had agreed that we would pay for additional guests at the specified rate should any "extras" turn up.  Basically they would count the number of plates used at the end of the night to work out any extra cost, so it was important for us to make sure that the children under 5, who were "free", did not use an additional adult plate, but shared that of their parents.

The food was excellent and the food service was faultless - there was plenty left over for "late nibblers".  Our table and the Presidential table were served our food by their waiters and the rest of the guests enjoyed an "all you can eat" style, self service buffet. If you have a religious celebrant, it is probably polite to ask them to offer thanks by saying Grace before the food service starts.

THE DRINKS:-

Our package included a round of soft drinks for each of the guests and a bottle of champagne for the toast.  We decided for several reasons, not to offer free alcoholic drinks for the guests.  The main reason was budget, at some point you have to draw a line in the sand and say I can't afford any more money; but also many of our guests didn't drink and some of those that did would have drunk too much had the beer been free. 

THE  MASTER OF CEREMONIES:-

Wedding receptions, while exciting for the newly wed couple, can get a bit boring and long winded  for the majority of wedding guests, so it is important to chose an MC who will make the evening fun and fast paced. We used a good friend, Micky,  who had played with bands for many years and knew the importance of keeping an audience entertained and how to do it.  He also knew that he was not the focus of the event and was careful not to become the centre of attention.  I have been to many weddings and an egoistic MC can become a real bore.  Micky kindly performed this task for us for free, but I know of people who have used a "professional" MC and the cost varied from 2,000 to 5,000 pesos.  An MC is included In our fully planned wedding packages.

THE INTRODUCTIONS:-

Many of the guests will have no idea of who the people on the Presidential Table are and why they are important to the newly married couple, so it is nice to introduce them to all the guests by name and by their responsibilties/position within the family group.  We gave our MC a list of their names and a very brief resume of their relationship to us which he read out before the entrance of the wedding party (see below).  Not only did this make them feel important and appreciated, but it formally announced the beginning of the reception celebrations.

THE ENTRANCE:-

The guests are all seated at their tables, waiting anxiously for the food service to begin.  Are the wedding party already seated also? Do the Bride and Groom wander in alone? OR Does the wedding party make a formal, dramatic entrance?  It's up to each couple to decide

Being a bit of a "show pony", we had an informal procession of the main participants of the wedding party, each being announced by the MC as they made their way down the aisle to their seats.  Each Groomsman escorted a Bridesmaid and, after a dramatic pause, we entered ourselves making our first social appearance as Mr and Mrs..........

THE MUSIC:-

As I mentioned when discussing the choice for the ceremony, music is a very individual thing but  plays a vital part in setting the tone and pace of the reception.  Choose carefully and try to think of the effect your music will have on the guests rather than choosing music for the simple reason that you like it.  Click the links to hear our choices.

The Entrance - as most of my musical influences come from a bygone era, my choice of music reflected this.  We used two pieces of music, one for the entrance of the Groomsmen and Bridesmaids and one for our own "special" entry.

          "Good Vibrations" by The Beach Boys for the Gromsmen and Bridesmaids.

          "I got you Babe" by Sonny and Cher for the entrance of the Bride and Groom

I had seriously considered "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC for our entrance, but decided that, although it was dramatic and would have focused everyone's attention, it might have been a bit too heavy for some of our invited guests.

The National Anthem - as a matter our courtesy to our Filipino guests, we played the national Anthem of the Philippines as soon as we arrived at our seats and before anything else began.

Music to eat food by - we choose a selection of light, mainly instrumental music, softly played in the background while we all ate our food.  The band was already set up but we wanted the start of their music to signal the beginning of the completely informal part of the evening - after the speeches, cake cutting,etc.,

The First Dance - for us the choice of this piece of music was simple; we had watched a movie on TV together and. although the movie was very exciting, at the end we both said to each other, "I love that music".  Your choice will be different from ours, will have different memories but will be just as emotional.

          "Answer" by Sarah McLachlan

THE MONEY DANCE:-

We didn't have one, but at some Filipino weddings, the money dance is announced; males line up in front of the Bride, pinning money on her dress or veil, then dance with her. Same with the Groom, only females line up instead.  I have been to weddings where the money is just pinned to the couple with no future dancing implied.  Often this is a way for those people who didn't buy presents to wish the couple good luck.

THE BAND

Being a musician myself, this was an area where I already had some expertise and wanted to get just right. I wanted a band that played my sort of music AND one that would let me sing a few songs myself.  I know the owner of a local expats bar very well and asked him what he paid his bands for a 4 hour set; he said it depended on the band but was usually between 3,000 and 5,000 pesos. I also asked him to give me a contact list for the best 4 or 5 bands he used, which he did.   I well understand that a band will charge more for a "one off" function than they will charge a bar owner who might give them a regular gig, but was surprised at the quotes from the first 2 bands I contacted which were both well over 20,000 pesos.  The fourth band I contacted were more far- sighted and once I pointed out that they would get exposure to other friends of mine who were getting married soon, offered me a price of 7,000 pesos. On the day they were punctual, not overly loud and very good; they got 2 more bookings from our wedding performance. It pays to shop around.

THE DOVES

This is a quote from a web page I discovered:-

"White doves at weddings are symbolic of celebration, new beginnings, peace, love, serenity and the Holy Spirit. They have been used in ceremonies throughout the world for centuries. Their beauty, as they soar into the sky and circle overhead is truly breathtaking. They have the ability to create a memory that guests will remember and talk about for years to come."

Well at our wedding they were certainly created a "memory that guests will remember and talk about for years to come! Trying as hard as we could to keep costs down, we sent a friend to our local market on the morning of the wedding to buy two white doves - I believe they cost about 300pesos. Unfortunately we didn't specify that we wanted doves that knew how to fly and when my sister threw them into the air, the first one managed a flight of about 5 metres and the second one crashed back to the ground with a sickening thud. A second attempt was no more successful, much to the amusement of the assembled guests. Still this was our only "mishap" on the day.

THE SPEECHES

Who says what?

There are traditions concerning the content of the principal speeches, as follows:

The Father of the Bride or someone who can act in his place if deceased

• Welcome all the guests to the wedding, on behalf of your wife and yourself.
• Thank them for coming to help you celebrate the wedding of your daughter.
• Tell them about your daughter - skills, abilities, achievements, character, reminiscences. It is common for there to be gentle teasing.
• Tell them about your new son in law - skills, abilities, achievements, character, reminiscences. Perhaps more gentle teasing?
• Toast the Bride and Groom. "So, ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, let us raise our glasses and join together in wishing them every happiness. I give you the toast of the Bride and Groom, ... And ... May God bless them."

• Thank the Bride's father for proposing the toast.
• Thank him for the wedding feast (if appropriate). Thank him for his kindness and friendship.
• Thank him for his daughter.
• Thank the guests for their good wishes, and for coming.
• Thank everyone for their gifts.
• Thank your 'new' wife for marrying you!
• Thank the Bridesmaids who have helped your wife through the day. Comment on their charm & beauty. - not too much, though, as you may make your new wife jealous!
• As well as the traditional thank-yous the Groom may wish to add a few words about how he met his wife, activities they share, etc. Gentle teasing is allowable.
• Toast the Bridesmaids: "Ladies and gentlemen, will you join me in drinking the toast of 'The Bridesmaids' - thank you."

The Best Man speaks on behalf of the Bridesmaids (and other helpers - ushers, etc.), and

• Thanks the Groom for his toast. He also:
• Toasts the Parents: "I should like to add to the thanks to the parents which (Bridegroom) has already expressed on this wonderful occasion. I ask you to join me in drinking the toast of 'The Parents'".
• In addition to these two 'official' components, the Best Man's speech usually includes various anecdotes about the Bride and Groom. Again it is common for there to be gentle teasing.
• Telegrams, cards and emails may be read out from people who were not able to attend.

In these days of gender equality, the bride may want to make a speech - Elsa didn't want to do so though.

THE CAKE

Here again the price you pay and the style you choose is a matter of budget and personal choice. We went to look at the cakes on offer from several of the larger "chain" bakehouses, but eventually settled on a small independent baker that Elsa had used before.  We paid 9,000php for a beautiful cake which was delivered to the venue on time and set up by the bakers staff. On reflection it was probably too big for 100 people and much of it didn't get eaten on the day - most guests just weren't hungry after the huge buffet meal they'd just eaten.  Still the local kids in the area around our house enjoyed it the next day. I have put a picture of the cake below.

THE GIVE-AWAYS

These are little gifts given by the bridal couple to each guest as both a "thank you for coming" and also as something for them to keep to remember the day. What you allocate to spend on each is up to you, but there are many shops offering these small gifts.  The best place we found was in Colon and don't forget always negotiate a price for a quantity buy. We embellished our gifts, glass swan figurines, with a piece of ribbon in our motif colour orange and a tiny tag which I produced on my computer. See picture below. We had invited 100 guests but ordered 150 giveaways - giving them was a nice way to include people in the day that either couldn't come or we could not fit into our list of invited guests.

THE WEDDING GIFTS

Some stores here in Cebu, offer the couple a "bridal registry", where you set out a list of gifts you would like to receive across a range of prices. Your friends can then choose the gift they want to give that fits their budget, the store will ensure that no gift is duplicated and deliver it to the couple.  We choose not to use this system and let the guests choose what they wanted to give us - we had many wonderful surprises, gifts we would never have thought of ourselves.

Guests arriving with gifts need somewhere to put them and we designated one of our groomsmen to make sure this happened.  Our venue provided a lovely horse carriage as part of the setting and we used this as our "wedding gift table". 

Opening a lot of presents at the reception can be time consuming and boring for the guests, so we opened a few just for the video, making sure we didn't lose the tags so we could thank the right people later.

THE BOUQUET TOSS

Traditionally, the bride throws her bouquet over her shoulder to a group of unmarried female guests and the lady that catches it is supposed to be the next one to be married.  At our wedding, it was a fairly ordered event until Elsa's sister came flying over the top of the other women to grab the bouquet out of the grasp of another guest.